Calliope from 1874. This image is available from the United States Library of Congress's Prints and Photographs division under the digital ID pga.01335.
Even the most grounded people can be thrown for a loop when we come face to face to an unexpected income loss. Financial tornadoes continue to blow through our world, wiping out towns, uprooting thousands of people. We can’t help but notice the flailing arms of those we know, even if we’re confident in our abilities to ride out the storm.
Fear is contagious. Depression and doubts you’d thought you’d handled flare up and suddenly you’re in a bad place. I know this place, I’ve been there many times. It’s so familiar now, I’ve given it a name: “The Pit” — like a den, only really uncomfortable. And dark. And the only things in the fridge are fear and lack.
Fortunately for me, I’ve been there enough times that I quickly remember I’ve gotten out of the pit just as many times as I’ve gotten in it.
Also fortunately for me, last time I was there, I made myself a handy set of instructions of the way out just in case I wound up there again. It’s not GPS, but it’ll do. I stuck it on the fridge.
It came out to 25 steps long — hey, The Pit is way down there. But this is a short article, so here are the top seven. Feel free to print it up and stick it on your fridge:
How To Get Out of The Pit:
1) Stop riding the beat-myself-up-go-round
Riding a merry-go-round is fun, but the only place the “beat-myself-up-go-round” goes is down. I know I never get where I want to go by beating myself up. But what is it with this ride? The minute I get myself off, it seems I’m back in line to get on again. Before I know what’s happened I hear that damn calliope whining in my head. I make my way hastily to the exit — a neon sign that blinks “Acceptance.” The music of acceptance cancels out the calliope of disapproval. I turn up the volume.
2) Push the joy-on-demand button
You too can have a joy-on-demand button. You have to install it first, though. How? Just decide here’s where I install my joy-on-demand button. Ah, but then you have to push it. And then remember to keep pushing it. It takes practice. (I often forget to push it because I’m in line for the beat-myself-up-go-round — see step 1.)
3) Decide the world is meant to fall at my feet
All egos vehemently object to this one. If life were effortless, what would we need egos for? Exactly. So my ego and subconscious keep insisting it’s hogwash. The way to outwit them is to put myself in the mode of acceptance and joy — it could be hogwash, it could be true — let’s choose for this moment that it’s true and see what happens.
4) Know I do not need to suffer
This step amplifies the compassion for self that absolutely must be applied when I’m in The Pit. I’ve chosen to learn many lessons and gain much awareness in my life by putting myself through what I call the school of suffering. I take responsibility for this. I have long since recognized I am finished with that school, but old seemingly useful classes keep being offered and part of me enrolls out of habit. How else am I going to learn? Ah, good question. Why not a school of joy?
5) Let go of wanting to figure it out
As a strong-brained creature, I am super-committed to figuring everything out. This effort generally includes ample worry, stress and experiencing the feeling of not knowing … which puts me right back on the beat-myself-up-go-round. Paradoxically, when I let go of trying so hard to figure things out and accept that my mind doesn’t know, the answers often come.
6) Know this is a higher turn of the spiral
The experiences we go through as our consciousness evolves cycle through our unfinished business until it’s all clear. I’m convinced that’s why we revisit similar episodes, patterns, challenges and situations over and over in our lives. The cycling gives us opportunities to choose more consciously. The suffering within the returning challenges sure feels as deep and as frustrating, but it is a higher turn of the spiral — I’ve come to understand it is really an echo of earlier things. The end feels like the beginning. I gain confidence from all the learning of the past — like this list for instance. I remember my successes and decide what I would choose as my experience now.
7) My happiness raises the resonance of the world
I am dedicated to serving the planet. So I’m tuned into all the suffering. Not so good for my own heart and life. I want to help so much, I make myself suffer! Pretty silly. It was a huge epiphany that my own happiness raises the resonance of the world. My own simple happiness. Can I allow myself to be happy? Can I allow myself to be prosperous when others are suffering? Hm. Part of me adamantly says no. It fights with me even now. But I can choose to serve from a place of prosperity and joy. I choose that now.
These seven steps have helped me a great deal to get myself out of The Pit and onto a landing where the view is much better. As we move out of fear and into peace, we have a far greater ability to stop battling our nightmares and instead to create our dreams.
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