Heal the Money 2011 Colors Calendar: Know Oneself Through Beauty Part Three

February exercise week 4: Honor a good lesson you’ve learned

I was delayed in posting my blog last week as I was relearning a good lesson about pain and beauty — my lower back has been hurting so I couldn’t sit long at the computer, plus I’ve had a cough — oh, how appropriate considering the week’s exercise . More on that in a moment.

I mentioned in my first post on February’s theme that many of the lessons we learn on the planet tend to involve pain. Heartbreak, loss, remorse, injury, betrayal … these gut-wrenching experiences often have us scrambling to throw together bucketfuls of conclusions about the world we experience. These conclusions lead to beliefs about what this world is like and decisions on how we navigate the waters of life so we don’t put ourselves through THAT again.

When we start to unpack complex lessons of heartbreak or betrayal, at the bottom of the pile of the pain-avoidance strategies can be decisions such as: “I’m not going to expect love again” “I won’t trust anyone” “I’ll hold love at arms length” or “I’m not deserving of love.” A subconscious belief of being “undeserving” can affect all aspects of someone’s life — from finances, to health, to relationships. The key realization — we may have made these grand decisions when we we’re all of three years old. Why keep them?

I relearned last week the power forgiveness has to release these kinds of buried beliefs and completely transform seeming disaster. Forgiveness is really a decision to let go of pain you’re holding onto on an energetic level — that’s as simple a way as I can explain it. Forgiveness is an act of self love even more than it is an act of outward compassion. By letting go of your own attachment to the pain that has occurred, you heal. Holding onto pain holds in place the belief of undeserving that leads to yet more pain. If you can take a step back from it, the pattern of recurring pain is like a flag on a Google map showing you an area that needs to be cleared out. Who to forgive? Sometimes that is not even clear. Start with yourself. Expand it to include everyone involved and everyone in your life. You are simply letting go of pain you are holding. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Once your attachment to the pain goes, the energy of acceptance appears and deeper healing can occur.

Paradoxically, there is often resistance to completely releasing pain and the beliefs that underlie it. It raises a question we don’t like to face: “Who am I without this pain?” Our subconscious or ego can use pain and the story that goes with it to define us — it becomes “my story” instead of just “something that happened” at one point in time. The trauma or pattern or cycle is how we’ve come to know ourselves. Have compassion for yourself in this process! (Believe me — says the girl finally clearing intense back pain — I know it can be utterly frustrating!) Once an intention is made to clear away the area where the pain flag was raised, the road blocks can dissolve to experiencing yourself through beauty, even if you don’t know exactly what that even means.

You can purchase a printed copy of my Heal the Money 2011 Colors Calendar to brighten a corner of your world!